"Suche gut gebauten 18-30 jährigen zum schlachten...“ - Der Metzgermeister

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Tuesday was so shitty.
I did shite all once again in English Language.
Angela can either be helpful, or totally fucking ignore you.

JUST BECAUSE I GOT AN A* AT GCSE, DOESN'T MEAN I'LL NEVER STRUGGLE WITH AS-LEVEL WORK.

Fucking slag.
So sick of being ignored.
Do I not pull a good enough "I'm-fucking-struggling-here-come-and-fucking-help-me" face?!

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I was so bored when Ashleigh want up to tutorial.
I didn't bring my black ringbinder with me - and all I wanted to do was draw.
So I ended up sitting playing Solitaire, listening to Rammstein albums.

I've discovered another song I really like by them - Rein Raus.
Translates to 'In Out' - and it's all about sexxxxxxx. Lmfao. Rammstein have funny songs.

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When Shelly arrived - she had a bandage around the foot she'd kaned in on the Saturday night and she was hobbling around like a drunken peg-legged pirate.

Yet, she still insisted we go to town.
This of course, was me walking and pushing Ash at my normal speed - Shelly said I was walking too fast.
Lmao, she should see how fast I walk when I'm alone. Especially walking to the bus station.

Ashleigh and I have decided we're not letting Shelly come into town until she's steadier on her foot.
We don't want her to end up hurting herself.

I got a £1.99 King Deal from Burger King.
Small fries, a small cheeseburger and a small Coke.

It wasn't bad - was actually quite filling - wasn't bloating like my favourite XL bacon double.
If I get another one though, I'll request that they don't include gherkins, tomato sauce or mustard.
I'm not a fan of scraping foul condiments from the top of my bun with a napkin.

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We went up to Photography when we came back.
Everyone's in a mad panic hurry to get both sketchbooks finished.

My unit 2 is practically done - I just need to add in my final piece and all that accompanying shite.
My unit 1 is a pile of shite though. I'm not looking forward to working on that again.

I can't remember what triggered it off - but I started feeling really shitty during this lesson.
I wasted my time away looking at random shite on DeviantArt and reading over my old blog entries.

I then found Lisa's blog.
It was quite an interesting read.
At first, I wasn't sure if it was LISA Lisa - but with the discovery of many clues - such as the Kitsune, and the mentioning of me and the forum - I knew it was her.
Some parts upset me though.

It seems Lisa is also a person who hates my changing moods and my constant depression.
Much like Emily, so it seems.

I can't change who I am.
People hate me for who I am - but when I try to change who I am, it doesn't work.
It never fucking does.

I couldn't even keep up with my plan I had for when I started college this year.
I planned to keep myself to myself, sit alone all the time and never speak unless I had to.
(Fuck's sake, that WILL be my plan for next year and at Uni - I won't have Ash and Shelly)

Saying that, it's straying away from this plan that allowed me to befriend Ash and Shelly.
Hmmmm... I'm glad I did.

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Shelly nicked out of her A block lesson to sit on the stairs on 4th floor that lead up to the roof with me.
I was upset and I was doing my random crying - so she cuddled me, keeping a massive wodge of bog roll beside me so I could use it when I spurted.

I think some of the things I told her upset her though.
I really need to stop saying what I really think.
I think she appreciates the fact I'm honest, but...

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And when I returned home - I did FUCK ALL.
I don't know how I can waste away from 5PM to 12AM - but I manage it somehow!

I need to stop wasting my time.
I need to start updating blogs and completing games.

I'd like to be drawing, making comics and writing - but I don't think I can yet...

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I printed out a T-shirt transfer I made a while back today and mam ironed it onto a white shirt for me.
I've done it for Ashleigh - I've wrapped it up with her other two presents I've got her for her birthday on Friday.

Back in December, near enough - we joked about the "no bikes", "no scooters" and "no rollerskates" sign on the door of the Dundas Shopping Mall.
Wondered what a "no wheelchairs" sign would look like.

I went home that night and made this on Photoshop:



So that be what is on Ashleigh's shirt.
Lmao, it'll be funny if she wears it.
I suggested I put it on a shirt before, and she said she would do.

Now seems a good time to present it to her, no?

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And in other news - our shower is broken - thanks to my STUPID SLAG OF A MOTHER.
She's snapped the bastard shower cord - so now it won't even turn on.

SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG.

Now I have to have fucking baths.
Baths make me ANGRY.
I sit in the water and that gives me time to think.
The bath takes forever to run as well - and I always end up running it too hot.

When I think - I think about the wrong things. Things that upset me.
And I can't rinse my hair properly.

Baths make me feel dirtier than I did before I got in them.
When I see the water's changed once I've gotten out of it - I think that I've been laid in my own filth.
Thus, I feel dirty - and that upsets me and stresses me out even more.

Yep, I really fucking hate baths.