If I'd just judged today on everything that happened BEFORE 9PM, I'd have marked today as neutral - even bordering on being content.
But no - it says CURRENTLY feels, be that as I write the blog, or as I post a blank one to update later.

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I actually thought today would be semi-decent.
Fair enough, I wasn't looking forward to having English first thing, but I was looking forward to my Photography lesson.
But no - all lessons had been cancelled, in favour of bastard Key Skills.

So I went on a wander, eventually found Adam - I gave him a birthday hug. I didn't have his card yet, as I actually hadn't been given much of a chance to get into town. I was planning to get one for him later in the day.

I saw Paul mooching around - so I asked him to show me where the new Key Skills room decided to be.
So I ended up in some random corridor that doesn't ever seem to be mentioned. Wah, it was TEH FORBIDDENZ CORRIDORZ OF TEH COLLEGE.


Even so, when I got there, I was being ignored, pretty much.
The tutors seemed to be focusing on signing off those who'd finished, instead of focusing on the ones who DIDN'T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE...

Thankfully, I had Michelle sat beside me - and I remembered some stuff Lewis had been rabbiting on about last week - so I managed to get a bit more done.
I couldn't be arsed staying for much longer though - so I sloped off downstairs at 10:30.

I was pissed off, so I bought a sausage sandwich.
They keep giving me sachets of ketchup - which I can't stand.
I want to set up squishes in the ground floor toilets.
(Hiding folded-over ketchup sachets under the nubs on the toilet seats, so that when a victim sits on it, the packets explode and squirt sauce all up their legs.)

Why yes, I am very immature.

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I met up with Shelly - a few seconds after I'd sat down and was about to eat my sandwich.
She goes: "...What ARE you doing?"
I just smiled and waved my sarnie at her.

She cuddled up to me for a while, waiting for her tutorial time.
When she actually went, she was gone for half a year - so I started sketching out the drawing I wouldn't actually get finished until 4:50 - thanks to defective fucking pencils... [But that's for later.]

When Shelly came back downstairs, the two of us wandered off into town.
I was still stressed out due to bastard Key Skills and my deprivation of wonderful Photography lessons - so I went into Home Bargains and bought crisps, Pepsi and a mini Toblerone.

This is the 2nd day in a row I've forgot to bring my bastard water-bottle.
When I start getting dependant on my water, I get really annoyed if I don't have any to-hand.

We sat on the black bricks outside Debenhams and nommed together.
They're bloody freezing in the winter, but they're quite comfortable in the summer.

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Shelly had another exam when we returned - so after we'd chilled out for a while on the 4th floor stairs, she went off to that, and I returned to Key Skills.

This time, there was less people in the room - so Paul actually paid me a bit of attention.
I got a little more done - he's told me that we'll finish it off tomorrow in Photography.

...Does that mean ONCE AGAIN, I'm losing my Photography lesson to Key Skills?!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR...

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I would have been officially finished after this - but Shelly, being a dozy cow that she is - she'd told her dad to pick her up at 5, instead of 3:30.
So I decided I'd hang about with her.

Adam joined us - and I gave him his card.
It was blue with a teddy bear on the front, holding a bottle of champagne.
The choice of cards in Card Factory were a bit shite, but I chose that one because it made me piss when I read it.
On the bottle, it said: "LOVELY BUBBLY" - and I was just like LMAO.

I followed our usual tradition of writing a ton of random shite on the blank spaces in the card inside too.

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Sitting around, we were soon joined by Kayley and some randomers.
I was informed that the "knob" sitting with us was Paul - he was eating BBQ rib crisps and daring his mate to shout "OW, SCRUFFY TITS!" at passer-bys.

Kayley then asked him, very calmly, in the greatest composure voice ever: "How can you have SCRUFFY TITS?"

Adam, Shelly and I absolutley pissed.

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During this time of muchos randomness, I finished off this drawing:



[DeviantArt link...]

Why yes, it IS #1263!
It's been such a long time since I've drawn her.
She doesn't look different, but I think she looks a little cuter than other times I've drawn her.

Oh, and about the background....
The colour on the end of the pencil looked BROWN - but when I actually drew with it, it came out FUCKING PINK.

I also didn't realise HOW pink it was until I'd finished.
I wanted it to be more of a red colour, but noooo... FUCKING PINK.

And the bastard pencil had a dodgy lead - so by the time I'd finished the whole background, I'd used the whole pencil, practically.
I lost count of the amount of times I had to sharpen the bastard thing.

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Adam got the 64 bus with me.
I was glad to sit with someone I knew and liked instead of sitting with some randomer.
(Like that woman who smelled like sausage rolls and gave me a craving for Greggs...)

When I got home, I ate spaghetti and meatballs.
Birds Eye meatballs are fucking lush like. I didn't burn the little cunts this time, either.

By now, it was like 6:30 - so Shelly rang me up.
She gave me the urge to play Guitar Hero, so I played through a few quick gigs while I had the phone on loudspeaker, resting on my leg.

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Ehhh, and this is when my day turned shitty.
I was in a fucking weird mood to begin with - my mood had been slowly getting worse from when I'd gotten home.

I was feeling really depressed, but managing to hide it really well.
When I was on the phone to Shelly, Ty rang her up - so that sparked off my paranoia as usual.

All I said to Shelly was - I didn't think she could love me as much as she used to love him, as we've only been together for a short time. Compared to those two - who were together longer.

Shelly took this the wrong way, of course, but as usual - she doesn't fucking say to me: "by the way, what you just said upset me" - to which I'd say: "oh sorry dear, I didn't mean to" - or something to that effect.
Instead, she holds my FEELINGS against me, starts being an ABSOLUTE bitch to me for the next 30 minutes - making me feel like shit.

She has a rant on about my mam and moving out - which is talking about the future. This made me feel worried and scared, so I cried.
Shelly thought she'd upset me - or more to the point, I was crying to make her feel guilty.
No, I was crying because I was upset to begin with, and what she'd said triggered my tears off.

So she turns things around - saying I'm crying deliberatley and all this shite.
She makes really violent threats at me sometimes too - the way she was talking, it was as if she wanted to meet with me tomorrow in town to announce she was going to dump me.

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But anyway - after I laid on my bed in silence for a few minutes - listening to her screaming and panting on the other end of the line - she says to me that when we're in that mood, it's because our similarities clash.

I knew I was right, she thought she was right.
(I said this and she had another whinge - but it didn't seem as serious because she was calming down by now.)


Either way - we seem to be alright now.
It's weird though - what Shelly classes as an "argument" between us - it's what Emily and I would have done on a regular basis.

I've known Shelly for about 7 months - and we've only had about 3 or 4 major fights.
I spoke to cuntarse Emily for nearly 2 years - and I'd say we had over well over 150 arguments.

The proof is in my arms too.
Since meeting Shelly and Ashleigh, leaving slagface behind me - the amount I've cut myself has dropped considerably.

The amount I do it now - I'd do it about 4 times more when I spoke to Emily.
I do it monthly - if that - now. It was several times a week when stupid slag used to upset me.