college-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dixie currently feels:
Depressed
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blog #28
Ash to the slaughter!
I figured how to solve the white noise problem on my radio alarm.
The station was tuned to NOTHING. So I just had a faff on with it, switched it to SOMETHING.
Now I keep getting woken up by some random woman ranting on about traffic jams and spending time with her grandma - but it's better than shitty white noise.
Dad took me to college - then I sat around playing Solitaire on my iPod - waiting for my appointment with Dianne.
They're starting to become more meaningful now we've started looking deeper into previous occurances - mainly life between 5 and 15.
All seems reasonable - and I didn't cry this week, so that was good.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I retreated back to the table I was previously sat on - reverted back to Solitaire - thus proper kaning my iPod battery even more.
Ashleigh turned up - talked with her for 20 minutes before her Art lesson. Shelly appeared too - and Zoe soon followed. The last time Zoe sat with us, I didn't speak.
I seemed in a weird mood today - I didn't stop talking.
I didn't stop laughing either - she had me in constant fits - her accent is hilarious and she comes out with some really random shit as well.
And she bestowed the title of "most random person she's ever spoken to" onto me. 
I responded to this with a 5 minute silence, then turning to Shelly and saying: "...ARE YOU GONNA SELL YOUR CRABS ON EBAY?!" - Zoe pissed.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Initiating our usual plan - we went into town - I got another orgasmic sandwich, only to be verrrrrrrry disappointed.
There was too much mustard in it - thus making everything soggy and a weird colour and taste.
For my Photography project - I had to venture into the Dundas butchers - buy yet another pig's heart.
This one was 47p - but it was considerably larger than the previous one.
Returning to college - we sat around munching on various chocolate products we'd all gotten from Home Bargains.
On the way back, Ashleigh had kept randomly breaking off squares of Bournville - handing them to me over her shoulder. She chose the best times too - under Albert Bridge and the walkway before college. Usually at these places, I start to ache - mainly my arms and my shoulders from maintaining the wheelchair pushing posture for too long.
I got some Highland Toffee - but it was too cold, so it was hard and snapped into little pieces, rather than melted and went all gooey. I should have kept it warm in my pocket or summat...
Oh, and I got a marshmallow-filled chocolate egg - it was called summat Princess - so I kept saying: "OOOH LOL I'M A PRETTY PRINCESS..." - then naturally, pissing myself laughing.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Photography arrived - thankfully I was made to work in the art rooms - and everyone else sodded off to town.
I had to share a camera with Ash, since she was working inside for her project too.
This wasn't bad - Ash and I can co-operate, and when she was taking her photos, it gave me a chance to make alterations to my compositions.
Paul had set up a plank of wood over a wooden frame for me to work on - and this was positioned beside the computer line.
There was initially a gap between myself and the others working on the computers - but then this random lass came and sat beside me on one of the PCs.
I really must have been hyper from the chocolate and Coke - I turned to her, smiled and said: "I hope you don't have a weak stomach."
She goes: "...Not really, no... Why?"
I raise the bag slightly.
"...What's in that? ...WHAT'S IN THAT?! WHAT'S IN THAT?!!!!"
I was seriously pissing myself by this point.
"...A pig's heart."
"A pig's heart?! Are you SERIOUS?! OH MY GOD, REALLY?!"
I was seriously in fits - more so when I took it out and laid it out on my composition.
I'd taken along a bottle of the golden syrup blood too.
I expected to use all of it, but I only used 1/4 of the bottle - a little goes a long way, so it seems.
I took the first photos of just the heart with blood drizzled over it - then Paul gave me a Stanley knife and told me to slice it apart.
...Oh nice one, I thought.
I was right to think that - I don't mind holding it - and I can tolerate the smell (for a little while...) - but once I drove the blade into it - it was tough, gristly - and the more I sliced through the thick flesh, the more fluids from inside dribbled everywhere and the stronger the scent became.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This heart-slicing lark went on for around 40 minutes - then I got another idea of what to use some blood for.
I turned to my camera-sharing-partner, shook the bottle and smiled.
She assured me it was fine - so I found a paperclip, twisted it into the shape of a hook and bent it around her bottom lip. Then I found an easel clip and she clipped it to her left ear.
I used a hard paintbrush and spread the blood around her lips - being careful to catch the drips in the bottle.
Here's the result:
The idea is - the easel clip looks similar to that of the tags they attatch to the ears of cattle/pigs/etc before they're slaughtered. This symbolises the element of butchery in my project, as well as representing the loss of dignity, rights and freedom. It also shows some significance of Ashleigh being treated as an animal.
The paperclip "meathook" actually stopped Ash from talking - which also ties in with the loss of dignity anfd rights that the clip represented - but the contrast of flesh and steel is a nice touch.
Steel on flesh is a symbol of torture, restraint, harm and punishment.
Aye - now if I can turn all that rambling into a detailed analysis in my sketchbook - I SHALL BE ROLLING IN MARKS.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, and here's some of the heart:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
