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Dixie currently feels:
Depressed
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Blog #45
Another Silly Saturday...
I really don't get sleep-ins on the weekend anymore.
I always have to be up early on Sundays so that mam or dad can take me to nana's before work, and I usually have to get up early on the Saturday to prepare for Ash and Shelly coming round, or me going to theirs.
Today we went to Ash's bungalow. I ended up arriving daft early though - dad couldn't take me any later. Ash didn't seem to mind.
We sat around on her bed for around an hour, talking in our usual random banter. Ash seems to be changing recently. Since the two of us confronted her about being so withdrawn and never showing any emotions, never offering hugs or never letting us know that she loves us - she seems to be opening. Slowly, but I can see it.
A conversation about blowing the moon in half lead us to rathergood.com - we went on her laptop and I showed her WE LIKE THE MOON.
It's still as creepy as I remember - but it's still slightly amusing at parts.
WE LIKE THE MOOOOOON. COZ IT IS CLOSE TO US...
WE LIKE THE MOOOOOOOOOOOON... BUT NOT AS MUCH AS A SPOOON...
COZ THAT'S USED MORE FOR EATING SOUP.
Some of the stuff on that site is piss, and some of it is just pretty random and pointless. Still, it's amusing.
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Shelly came at her usual time.
She made her prescence well with the big fuck off white minibus pulling up on Ash's road.
And of course, I took it upon myself to point at the window and go: "MINBUS! MINIBUS!"
Ash just smiles and says: "...Hmm, must be Shelly." 
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We spent a few hours playing World Tour.
It's not the same at Ash's - we has no drums - and we has a really small TV - but either way, we're a guitar duet, sometimes with a singer.
I take Slider with me.
I used to take Legend - but that was before I completely covered him in stickers.
I've never taken Whitey.
I need to upload a photo of my three guitars. They look mint together.
I did a 6-song gig as the vocalist - ON EXPERT, BITCH.
I picked some harder songs too - like B.Y.O.B. - level 18!
I mainly picked heavy metal songs: Trapped Under Ice, Prisoner Of Society, Freak On A Leash - the like.
But that's me - I can sing heavy metal.
It's piss, Shelly proper can't. And of course, Ash can't sing at all. 
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Ash's mam made us toasted sarnies shortly after this.
The first time I was offered them - I was offered the choice of corned beef and onion, cheese and ham or just cheese alone.
I asked for CORNED BEEF AND CHEESE.
Lmfao, her face was pretty funny - but it was fucking nectar.
Since then, Ash has taken a liking for them - and today Denham wanted one too.
I was all like: "MWAH, I'M INFLUENCING YOUR CHILDREN."
I'm often like that.
I had one today as well - MY WORD, it's the fastest I've ever eaten ANYTHING.
It literally took me A MINUTE. I even shocked myself.
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We filmed a few more little sections for our trailer - I'd say we are done with the clips now. I just need to assemble the 2nd draft.
We filmed extreme close-ups, mainly. So I have like a 2 minute video of Ash proper distorting her face. It's fucking weird.
Denham came and played World Tour with us after this.
I let him have my guitar - I just sat behind Ash annoying her.
It's so much fun to randomly start biting the arm of the bass player in the middle of a song. 
I started massaging her shoulders too. I'm told I'm good at massages - but I have to be slightly harder with Ash - due to her loss of feeling in her back. I was hurting her at one point, so I just kept on doing it harder until she was buckled over in her chair, screaming.
Funny, I know. I felt bad afterwards though - so I rubbed it better.
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Before we had tea, we all went into the living room and played a few rounds of Cheat.
I got the idea after eyeing the playing cards on Ash's desk.
I won two out of the three rounds. Tee hee, I be good.
I could always tell when Shelly was cheating - she got screwed over a shitload of times due to me.
It was always because I had ALL the fours, and ALL the sevens.
Before any of them put down a card when it was those numbers, I'd just go: "DON'T BOTHER PUTTING ANYTHING DOWN, YOU'RE CHEATING."
Ash was proper cheating the entire game - she was doing it for the sake of it!
I only cheat when I have to. Her face is so funny when you catch her. She pouts and bends her head as she scoops the pile into her hand.
Shelly proper goes off in a paddy - that's even fucking funnier.
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After our tea (I had crispy chicken bites, spaghetti, chips and a Muller Corner for afters) - we went back into Ash's room for a few hours.
Cue our lay-on-the-bed-and-cuddle-each-other-for-an-hour time.
We went back on rathergood.com - watched the random kitten animations.
Though half the time we couldn't really concentrate on them because we had Shelly sat behind us going: "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW..." - like fucking constantly.
Ash's mam came in shortly after this, poking a handful of Galaxy Ripples around the door.
And she goes: "....RRRRRRIPPLEEEEEES!" - like proper strange. (Exactly how Ash would say WACKY---.)
I just pissed myself for like 15 minutes.
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I never realised how easy it was to embarrass me.
Either way, it's easy - and those two wouldn't stop.
Every time I felt myself burning, I'd "nestle" underneath Ash's shelves.
I won't forget the comment from her: "Aww, are you nestling again? Into your little cavern of embarrassment?"
Ash, sadistic cow.
I would say the day was fine up to this point. Then I did something stupid.
I didn't quite admit it - I got Ash to work it out for herself, but either way - she now has confirmation that I'm in love with her.
She did already know - as I suspected.
But now I feel really fucking weird.
Shelly kept hugging me, saying it was alright. I didn't want to be hugged, because it made me cry.
...But there is one thing that sort of proves that Ash doesn't mind.
When we were going home, she didn't sit in the front - she sat in the back, in the middle seat between us.
And she didn't ask Shelly if she wanted a hug when she left - but she asked me...
Is that pity because she knew I was upset... Was it to let me know everything was okay...
Or was it just a goodbye hug...
I don't know... I don't think I'll ever know.
